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Saturday, September 13, 2014

BOYLEING POINTS



BOYLEING POINTS: NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

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Every now and then you run into someone who is completely ignorant of the news. You might be ignorant of their ignorance until they ask something like, there’s a ferry? Where?
You pause, like, dude, really?
You sometimes mention things that you figure have gotten around. In just a conversational kind of way you might bring up the boardwalk, the boogie board ban, speed cameras, or the arrival of a new homeless shelter, and you get a blank face in return.
Huh? is the only response you get.
Assume nothing. There is not a single issue that is germane to Rockaway that everybody knows about. It shouldn’t be shocking. I know Boyleing Points readers know who the vice president is, but if Rockaway is anything like the rest of the country, 29 percent of your neighbors don’t.
Hmmm, makes me wonder what percent knows Phil Goldfeder…. And a quarter of the people you bump into don’t know the earth revolves around the sun.
Oddly enough, since taking on this Rockaway Times thing I’ve become more understanding of the woefully ignorant. Turns out, I don’t have a clue. At least not as summer winds down.
We live here because of the summer months. Don’t be ruining barbecues and the beach with issues. Especially ones that are off the peninsula.
Not to make light about what happened in Ferguson, Missouri when a man named Michael Brown was shot and killed by a police officer but I was so out of it I only heard snippets of the headlines. I thought it was about someone named Ferguson.
I heard something about the Gaza strip and then someone joked about the Gaza strip club and I was wondering if there was such a thing, but was too afraid ask anyone lest I seem that ignorant. But for a second I thought it might be some new hipster club opening somewhere in Rockaway.
I feel like a kid who didn’t do his summer reading. ISIS, war in the Ukraine, Iraq falling apart. All this stuff to catch up on. But then…
When I heard Al Sharpton was back in the news, I figured, hey, it’s not so bad being ignorant.
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Boyleing Over: Last week’s column in which I typed while wearing a yarmulke and eating Levy’s rye bread triggered some good comments. The reviews in general: pretty good for a goyim. Of course, a few terms slipped by me. Somebody said, with all the gossiping that goes around here, how could you forget yenta?
Almost the opposite of yenta is balabusta. But I don’t know….I look at that word and I wonder how an Italian immigrant might say it.
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The temperatures dropped for a few days and it didn’t take long for Rockaway winter wear to make the scene. A little chill in the air and all of a sudden you saw guys in heavy jackets and short pants.
You’ll see the same in February.

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