Thursday, August 21, 2014

Boyleing Points: The Real Thing




BoyleING POINTS

BOYLEING POINTS: THE REAL THING

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Boyleing_Pts_BridgeI kinda hate when people notice anything new. Nice haircut. Ooh, new car.
Oh, you got new furniture. Hey, you lost weight – even if you haven’t. All those observations just make me self-conscious.
Because those things make me cringe I try to limit my comments about new stuff I might notice with other people. Though sometimes it’s a challenge. I recall seeing a normally gray-haired guy suddenly appear with a dye job that had gone terribly purple. I didn’t say a word but I felt my eyes darting back and forth to his hair that looked like funeral bunting.
Sometimes you can’t hold back. Last week’s cover boy, Steve Stathis, got a haircut last year that was so bad you had to keep asking him if he needed help. It lasted for weeks. No one had to specify, they just asked: What happened? Steve would shake his head, I know.
But this time I hope the new look is noticed and approved. I’m talking about the masthead on the front page. I’m hoping you see and like the Rockaway Times’ MADE IN ROCKAWAY tagline. When you’re at the store or picking up a free paper from your doorstep look for the Made In Rockaway label so you know what you’re getting: Boyleing Points and a locally owned newspaper. Beware of imitators.
Hey, even if you use The Rockaway TIMES for the bottom of your birdcage at least it’s homegrown!
You know that feeling when something’s not quite right. In the old days, you’d go to some big picnic or church event and see a big tub of cold soda. You’d run over for a drink and then your shoulders would sag a bit. Oh man, C & C cola? C & C was the poor man’s Coke or Pepsi. You’d drink the entire thing wishing it was a real Coke.
Remember Hydrox cookies? They were counterfeit Oreos. You ate them as a last resort. Even the milk didn’t taste as good with them.
Of course, China is notorious for ripping off brands. They sell pizza at Pizza Huh not Pizza Hut. They sell Arm and Hatchet baking soda and sell coffee at a place called Sunbucks.
It’ll be okay if The Rockaway Times gets a new tag or nickname. Some people already call it Boyle’s Paper (there’s a Dan’s Paper in the Hampton but I’m not ripping him off). Maybe the R-Times will be called Made in Rockaway. R-Times ain’t bad either.
Anyway, don’t be fooled by things that say Rockaway – some things might be called Fake-away instead. Cigarettes have a warning label – so does the Rockaway Times – it’s called the staff box, page 8.
Hope you like the new Rockaway Times look. Don’t be fooled by imitators.
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Boyleing Over: So there was jello wrestling, a sweeter version of mud wrestling, at the 97th Street concession last Saturday. Young woman in their 20s and 30s battled in a pool of red jello. The whole idea seemed kinda creepy until I saw parents cheering on their wrestlers so who am I to judge! It used to be CYO games; now it’s jello wrestling. As John Sica might say, things are different now.

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