Peter J. Mahon
October 27th, 2016
On the morning of Sunday, October 30th, we will assemble at the Broad Channel VFW for breakfast bagels and Bloody Mary's and then board buses which will whisk all of us over to the piers over on the West side of Manhattan to board our cruise ship for the week's cruise which includes a complete meal and drink package which, at the very least, should ensure a very interesting 7 days at sea. Personally, I will be taking along a copy of Mary Dady Clarity's book, Old Salt, a memoir of her husband, Mike Clarity's, life growing up in Broad Channel through his years of service with the United States Navy. Assuming no untoward incidents on board the ship or ashore on foreign soil involving Homeland Security or confiscated passports, we should all safely return via bus to the VFW the following Sunday for a small welcome back soiree and then home for a much needed rest to make sure we are all in shape to head on down to P.S. 47 Tuesday to cast our votes in next week's general election.
The lucky residents of Broad Channel enjoying the cruise will not be the only local citizenry out of the country as our very own word-meister and editor in chief, Kevin Boyle will also be traveling abroad to Portugal and then on to Ireland. I expressed my concern to Kevin that he might run into a little problem with Homeland Security and the TSA should they examine his passport a little too closely and determine that he obtained it while drinking around the countries of the world down at the Disney's Epcot World Showcase. Kevin assured me that his passport is, in fact, valid and that he, and I quote, "would not be caught dead in Disney." I told Kevin that the lack of specificity in his reply could lead me to infer that he views Disney with some degree of disdain. For instance, I would never be caught dead attending a midnight showing of "The best of Anthony Weiner's "Carlos Danger" twitter pics....but that doesn't mean I didn't attend, front row and all! Just wasn't dead or seen attending!
With all the hullabaloo surrounding the pending closure of Rockaway's Playland Motel and the possibility of it being turned into a homeless shelter, what follows was almost inevitable! Several gentlemen were recently talking among themselves while seated at a local tavern enjoying that most sacrosanct of late afternoon events, happy hour, when the the bar phone rang. The bartender answered and after listening intently for a few seconds, he simply nodded his head and said "OK, I will tell him." and hung up. He looked down the bar at the group of men and in a loud voice announced to all at the bar, "Hey [name withheld to protect the (not so?) innocent], that was your wife and she knows you are here. She said if you're not home in 10 minutes she is going to pack all your clothes and send them to Playland cause your butt is gonna be homeless in 11 minutes!" With the opportunity for an Irish Goodbye now completely out of the question, the gentleman in question settled his tab, vacated his stool and was out the establishment's front door less than 30 seconds later.