Thursday, August 4, 2016

Between the Bridges in Broad Channel

August 4th, 2016
Peter Mahon


This past week Grace and my youngest daughter Victoria have been down in Virginia visiting with Grace's sister, Maryellen.  This has left me at home with my oldest daughter Amy, who, being 21, only visits the homestead sporadically when she is not working or hanging out with her friends. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining.  After all, just like Amy,  I was 21 years old once upon a time in a galaxy very far away and I recall that, just like her, I was never home.  Of course, I was never home because I was in the United States Marine Corps but that is a story for another time.  As Grace and Vicky pulled away from our house on West 12th Road early Monday morning I slowly realized that in a matter of minutes, just like Macauley Culkin in the 1990 film, I would be "home alone" and free to undertake whatever adventures I chose unbridled by the shackles of familial obligations.    

Our goodbyes said, I walked back inside the house closing the front door behind me and our dog Zach strolled down the stairs from the second floor with a guilty look on his face and his tail between his legs and plopped his 70 pound lab-mix carcass on the tiled kitchen floor.  Right then and there I should have known something was wrong but all I could think about was jumping back into bed and sleeping until noon. I made my way upstairs but  as soon as I entered the bedroom I realized sleeping in would not be an immediately available option as my friend Zach apparently had a bout of diarrhea and deposited a huge mess on the bedroom's hardwood floor. Thirty minutes later with the bedroom floor completely cleaned, scrubbed and sanitized  I jumped into bed and stretched out fully intending to head right to the land of nod when I spied the clock on the bed stand which now read 6:25 am.   I suddenly realized that it was Monday, a work day for the contractors raising the street on West 12th Road and Victoria's car was still parked in front of the house and had to be moved off the block by 7 am.  I quickly got dressed again and went downstairs where I ran into Amy who was on her way to work.  "Dad, it looks like rain, do you think you could drive me over to Rockaway for work?"   No big deal I thought, I had to move Vicky's car anyway so I told her to hurry up and meet me outside in the car.  After stopping at All American Bagel and Baritsta Co. where I bought Amy breakfast I headed to the Cross Bay Bridge where I realized that Vicky's  E-Z Pass was nowhere to be found in the car. Thirty minutes and $8 in tolls later I returned to Broad Channel where I finally found a space and parked on the Cross Bay Boulevard median down by 16th Road and limped home with my cane arriving back at the house around 7:45 am where I heard the phone ringing.  Thinking perhaps Grace and Vicky had encountered a problem en route to Virginia I quickly answered the phone only to be greeted by a recorded voice advising me that if I or any member of my household received government assistance we qualified for a free cell phone at taxpayer expense.   Somewhat annoyed but happy in the knowledge that my taxes are being put to good use, I terminated the call and was about to head back upstairs, sill intent on catching a few more hours of sleep, when  "Nibby", one of our four cats waltzed up to me and began whining to be fed.   Then it dawned on me, I still had 4 cats, 2 turtles, a guinea pig, a bearded dragon and a dog to be fed and 3 litter boxes to be cleaned.   And that my friends, is when things started to really go downhill!  Stay tuned.

Broad Channel, why would anyone want to live anywhere else? 

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