Between the Bridges (with Barbara Horn) in Broad Channel

Between the Bridges with Barbara Horn
in Broad Channel

by Peter Mahon

February 11th, 2016

Strange things are afoot down in Osceola County, Fla., where several residents have complained that someone has been depositing catfish in their mailboxes. One resident in particular thinks that although this could simply be neighborhood kids playing a prank, she is also very worried that the presence of a catfish in her mailbox could be an omen of more sinister things to come.  “I was kind of in shock that somebody would do that, it’s not something you see every day….” the resident stated, adding… “…it starts with a catfish in the mailbox but you never know where this kind of thing could escalate to.”  The resident was so concerned that she stated she would make an official police complaint in the hopes of identifying the perpetrator(s) before things got out of hand.

Before you dismiss the above story as simply another amusing tale emanating from our southern land of walkers, motorized wheelchairs and golf carts, you should know that some 20 years ago Broad Channel was the site of a similarly strange occurrence.   Back in 1996 while enjoying her morning cup of coffee in the kitchen of her Broad Channel residence on Cross Bay Boulevard, Barbara Horn’s serenity was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.  Somewhat annoyed, Barbara set aside her coffee and walked downstairs to her front door where she discovered that someone had deposited an oversized cardboard box in the hallway.  Stepping around the box, Barbara opened the front door and stepped outside in an effort to determine who had delivered it but there was no one to be seen.  Closing the door behind her, Barbara stepped back into her hallway and was surprised to discover that the box had moved several feet from where she had first observed it.   Aware of the fact that her morning coffee was growing cold upstairs, curiosity nonetheless got the better of Barbara and she decided to investigate.  Carefully approaching the box, she nudged it several inches along the floor with her foot and stepped back.  After a few seconds, the box slid unaided across the hallway in the opposite direction several more inches.  Barbara stared at the box, scratching her head, wondering what could possibly be inside. Barbara again carefully approached the box and poked it with her finger whereupon she was immediately greeted with a strong return poke from the interior of the mysterious carton.    

Before I proceed any further with this story, there are a few things you have to know about Barbara and the entire Horn family. They had a dog named “Baby Bear” which weighed in at some 200+ pounds and upon whose back you could safely land a small helicopter.  Her son Chris’s bedroom was occupied by a gargantuan lizard which (I believe) was rented out to Steven Spielberg for his first Jurassic Park film three years earlier in 1993.  At the same time Barbara’s daughter, Erin, was already well on her way to becoming the “Pit Bull Whisperer” she is today long before celebrity dog behaviorist, Caesar Milan, became a household word.

But I digress…back to the story.  “Enough of this nonsense…” Barbra thought to herself.  She reached down and lifted the box high into the air whereupon her hallway was immediately filled with a blizzard of loose feathers accompanied by a cacophonous clucking and the sight of a live chicken manically running around her hallway, albeit with its head still on!  Barbara immediately sized up the situation and sprinted back upstairs to reheat her coffee as she called her husband Terry at work and quickly advised him “Don’t bother picking up the steaks on the way home, we’re having chicken for dinner!”  Although the mystery of who dropped off the live chicken at the Horn’s residence remains unsolved until this very day, the point of these stories is that, depending on where you live, one neighbor’s concerned police complaint is another neighbor’s welcomed dinner menu change, especially in Broad Channel!

Broad Channel – why would anyone want to live anywhere else?