Boyleing Points: By Kelvin Boyle
Kelvin, that’s not a typo. I just want to be more liked. You might know that
A Boy Named Sue is a famous Johnny Cash song. The singer of the song wants to kill his father, the dirty, mangy dog that named him Sue.
Which brings me to the Internet. Now I know most of my readers voted in the Dewey Vs. Truman race of 1948 and they refer to things online by saying “it was on the computer.” It’s for those good folks that I occasionally summarize the entire Internet so they don’t have to bother with cookies and pop-ups and the fear of blowing up the machine. Or catch one of those virus things that may or may not be covered by Medicare.
In any case, you didn’t miss much recently. Professional Wrestler Donald Trump continued his Vince McMahon impersonation and people on Facebook bragged about their kids or complained about the 65-degree December temperatures. The Internet can be like having 500 TV channels. You flip through all of them and conclude there’s nothing on.
One little tidbit I came across might interest you if your name is Kevin or you hate someone named Kevin. The rest of you are dismissed, you don’t have to read another word.
Apparently, the name Kevin is the least attractive baby name in many parts of the world but especially in Germany. One headline didn’t mince words: “You’re named Kevin? Sucks to be you.”
One poll showed that women would rather remain single than marry a Kevin.
One guy said with authority: Kevins are generally considered stupid in German speaking countries and the only Kevin I know proves it every day.
Really? I mean, I don’t know where the Germans get off – they name babies Wolfgang and Adolph.
Kevin didn’t even the crack the Top 10 names people hate in the U.S. There seems to be a rhyming thing that pisses people off in the states. Five out of the top six most hated names rhyme with maiden. Jayden, Brayden, Aiden, Kaiden, and Hayden.
It was a funny list. Michael came in at Number 9 for being hated. And Jackson came in right after that. How did Michael Jackson sell so many records?
Some people hate names because they’re trendy. Other people hate names because it was attached to one person they’ll hate forever. Lots of people hate names if happens to be that of an ex.
The German’s hatred is apparently more science-based, however. One hater sneered, “Kevin is not a name. It’s a diagnosis!”
I’m going through all the Kevins I’ve met and I think I’ve liked them all. They’re the only ones who can call me “Kev” on first meeting without sounding weird. You know, I say hello to someone, “Hi, name’s Kevin.” And they say back,” Hi Kev.” Huh? Sorry, you can’t cut to Kev right off the bat.
Hmmm. Maybe they hate the name Kevin and they think Kev is more palatable. You know, I’m called Brian for no apparent reason on a regular basis. I gotta think about this now. Maybe they’re all just Kevin-haters.
Do me a favor. Go hate some Jaydens.
No comments:
Post a Comment