Boyleing Points

A Rockaway Carol

By Kevin Boyle

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land
People were waiting for replenishment sand

Surfboards and shorts hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that FEMA would only be fair

I settled in bed for a nap and a snore
Still thinking of jetties and the Army Corps

The secret around here is to hibernate
Or drive yourself nuts as you wait and wait

I had just dimmed the lights when I heard a man yell
Was it confusion or anger, I couldn’t tell

Out in the snow in a red little cap
Stood a puzzled old guy reading a map

His cheeks turned so red as his temperature rose
He looked none too happy with Rudolph’s nose

He caught my eye and said with a frown
Where is the chimney for the things that are brown?

Oh Santa, Oh Santa, keep your toys in your sack
Don’t you know that’s a lifeguard shack!

Oh, dear man, I thought we were lost
Just don’t tell me how much they cost

He put his hands on his little round belly.
It shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.

He pulled out his pipe for one last talk
What’s the story with the boardwalk?

Oh, Santa Oh Santa, not today
This isn’t Long Beach, it’s Rockaway.

Ah, don’t be so down, he said with good cheer.
Look what you’ve done in just a year

So try to stay calm and don’t blow your stack
Just don’t rely on Build It Back.

His eyes gave a twinkle as the sleigh took flight
I heard him exclaim, Rockaway, Rockaway, Keep up the fight!